Podcast Ep 26: Fighting Fairly in Your Relationship with Mollie Birney, M.A.

 
 

Today, I chat with my dear friend Mollie Birney, a clinical life coach, about how to utilize conflict in a relationship that is expansive and actually enhancing and -- dare I say -- enjoyable? Conflict is intended to be challenging but it doesn't have to feel like pulling teeth if we are able to own our shadows with confidence. If you struggle with relationship anxiety, we can often create meaning that isn't actually there, and it's so important to be able to own this fully in order to create resolve within ourselves and within our challenges in relationships.

Apply for Mollie's couple’s retreat with her husband here.

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If you're ready to join our flagship online course, Relationship Anxiety Alchemist, you can do so here.

If you'd like to work directly with us, apply for a consult here for our group or 1:1 programs below:

Group Coaching Program

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Who we are:

Natalie Kennedy @Anxiouslovecoach

Mollie Birney, M.A. @mbclinicalcoaching

Time Stamps:

  • 5:30- We can move through conflict much faster when we lay out some ground rules

  • 8:30- Being accountable for yourself in a fight

  • 10:45- Are you fighting for your relationship or fighting against your partner?

  • 13:00- Making assumptions about your partner’s intents

  • 15:00- What is the payoff of painting myself as a victim?

  • 17:00- How do we fight and stay connected?

  • 20:30- Are you at the mercy of your feelings or are you just observing them?

  • 22:30- Observations vs interpretations

  • 25:30- Are you looking to be right or are you looking to feel connected?

  • 28:25- You cannot have a productive argument from a place of survival

  • 28:50- How to exit when you are having a fight

  • 33:19 -What techniques can we use to stay connected during a fight?

  • 36:45- How do I encourage my partner to be honest with me?

  • 41:15- The power of not sharing ALL of your thoughts with your partner

  • 44:50- Finding a third option in your arguments by discovering what your partner REALLY wants

  • 51:30- What to do when you’ve said something that you regret

  • 52:45- How to apologize to each other correctly

  • 57:45- How do I know if this relationship is going to work out?

  • 58:50- Mollie’s Oct 11-15th 2021 couples retreat in Sundance, Utah